A few years back, when I was tucking my son into bed, he asked, “Daddy why do you love me?” A moment of panic hit as the weight of the question hit me.
My mind raced as I tried to think up an answer. Was it because he was a good athlete? No, I would still love him if he couldn’t catch a ball. Was it because he was smart? No, I am happy that he is intelligent but that’s not the reason. Is it because he is a good boy? Would I stop loving him when he is bad? No, I still love him in spite of bad behavior.
Thankfully, an answer came to me. I love him because he’s my son. What’s special about this reason is it’s not dependent on him. He will always be my son, so I will always love him.
This has had a positive impact on your relationship. There was a time when I disciplined him that he would think that I must not love him anymore. I was thankful that we already had the conversation about why I love him and could point him back to that conversation. It helped him to understand that I discipline him because I love him. After all, do I discipline the neighborhood kids?
What’s even more impactful is the conversations this has led to about grace and God’s love for us.
After that conversation, I made a little book about our conversation and every once in a while I would read it to him. Repetition is a valuable thing, especially when it comes to building a relationship with your son. I’ve published that little but impactful book so that other fathers could share with sons why they love them.