Parenting is hard. Without relationship, it is impossible. You’re missing the fuel that makes discipline, training and family life go if your child doesn’t know that you love them and you are willing to sacrifice your wants for their needs.
To build relationship, look for ways to connect. Scott Turansky, National Center for Biblical Parenting, says find something that you connect with your child with and then say something like, “We have fun together when we read a book together, play catch, wrestle, etc.”
A few years ago an opportunity came up for me to build relational capital with my son by talking about the special relationship between fathers and sons. My son had a friend call his dad by his first name and he wanted to know why he couldn’t call me Rick. This provided a wonderful opportunity to explain the special relationship between us. “There are only two people in this world that get to call me Dad: you and your brother. A father and son have a special relationship–its permanent. There is nothing that anyone, including you or me can do to change it. I love you because you’re my son and that means my love is for you NOT dependent on what you do or don’t do. I will always love you because you will always be my son.”
Sharing the truth that your love for your son is NOT dependent on what he does or doesn’t do can build relational capital in his heart and lead to a deeper discussion about grace and our true and perfect heavenly father. An easy way to begin this discussion with your son is to read my picture book Daddy Why Do You Love Me?
Parenting is hard. Don’t make it impossible by skipping this foundational step.